What will my child call me?

I was having this conversation with Tanya the other day...

Perhaps it's because I'm about a month away from the marriage ceremony, or because the possibility of children at some point...but I realized that I'll have a decision to make.

Will my child call me "Dad"?

Or while my child address me with the korean "아빠" (Appa)?


Perhaps most will find this insignificant. Or they'd say that my korean stinks enough that I should probably just stink with "dad".

But here's why it's significant, at least to me.

I don't have a "dad". Or a "father".

I have an 아빠. Or an 아버지 (Ah-buh-gee).


Illustration? I asked Tanya how she'd feel if our kid called her "엄마" (Umma), the equvalent of Mom in Korean. She said it would be weird...

And why? Because she called her mom "Mama", which is how Russian children address their moms...and so to receive an unfamiliar address would be strange.


Now, for me, I wouldn't find being called "dad" as foreign as she would being called Umma, because I grew up speaking English natively, but it's still pretty similar.

My earliest memories and thoughts were formed around calling my dad by the Korean title. Which essentially hits home harder.

Saying "I'm a dad" to myself doesn't quite have the effect as the thought "I'm an 아빠 now."

Even as I type it the difference in emotional effect is striking. The weight is apparent.

This by the way, is why 2nd generation Korean Americans, or really, any immigrant children growing up in a dual-lingual context may feel disconnected when they go to church and hear "God is our Father". They never had a "father". They had an 아빠. Or "Papa" (the Russian "dad"). Or whatever.