It is a strange thing when you realize the fragility of your own consciousness and soul....how easily you can be rattled and shaken, and helpless you often are within your own situations.
To have clarity about what is going on within yourself and outside of yourself, and to within that even understand why something cannot be helped, but must be nonetheless....it is a strange feeling.
Sometimes it produces unrest.....but today it has produced a strange sense of peace.
Perhaps this and the fact that I was given such a measure of grace by my Hebrew professor that I can't really be more thankful.
I'd say that the last few months have been some of the most difficult in certain respects....but it truly is the difficult times that bring us the most reward, and can help us to become redeeming agents in the world.....not contributing anymore than is necessary to the chaos and destruction that goes on every day.
Also, if you are running in the wrong direction, becoming tired sooner than later is probably a good situation, not a bad one. You can reevaluate and figure out what has been going wrong.
The signs of health returning to me? I've stopped escaping via video games and distractions, and have begun to once again engage myself with....myself, I guess. This blog entry being one of many signs of life returning to me.
I think I am just grateful that my weakness exposes with clarity the strong and merciful hands that carry me.
Cheerio.
