The more secure you feel with someone, the more you find you are able to be yourself, and expose....well, yourself.
Why is there suffering?
Why, because I have caused it, and because I have birthed it.
The odd thing is that my Lord has seen it fit not to erase it (and perhaps, even, erase me in my current state?) but instead to transform it....to turn into a tale, a story....one that is both sad and worth telling....joyful and melancholy all at the same time.
I don't know if you're like me, where these moments catch up with you.....I had it today listening to "River God" by Nichole Nordeman. Most of the things that have caused me grief and stress these days have more to do with despair over my own self than anything else...and yet it's only the relieving presence of God, and the realization that He is indeed purifying the evil from my soul, and that allows me to cave in and admit that it has been a difficult process.
Tis strange to be banking on a payout that will never come until I close my eyes in death. And yet I stand on that now-invisible surface with my entire soul, as I type here with utmost conviction that God is love.
And now, back to my paper.
